Who is the top earner, is it Derek

the four time World Series winner face of baseball?

No.

Is it Alex the extremely talented but flawed Yankees 3rd baseman?

No.

Is it David Beckham the mild mannered, skirt wearing, meterosexual, well passed his sell by date ponce.

Could Be!!

It didn’t come as any surprise when Beckham announce he was heading State side to end his playing days, I mean when the final choices come down to Bolton or L.A. there’s only one decision his equally talentless bint is going to make for him.

But when I heard the cash value of this deal I was somewhat taken back, I knew the MLS had introduced the “Beckham Rule“* to get over the salary cap and to let washed up “superstar” has beens fly over for a cushy number and try and invigorate what is just above Conference level league.

I thought they’d chuck a bit of money at the clothes pony bench warmer but I never figured on $250 million over 5 years, it came into sharp focus when pointed out it’s more than Jeter & A-Rod get combined, well it would have to be as the most brought up and used in evidence deal – the $252 million Rodriguez gets – was for 10 years.

Christ for a start do they really think he’ll last 5 years even in this league? He’s on his very last legs as it is now, has been on them for some time, hell if even that grinning ginger twat in charge of England can see it.

For their $250m they expect, as we’ve been repeatedly told, Beckham will lift the profile of soccer in the States to a sustainable level. Well the Galaxy side have already seen a boost in season ticket sales so that’s a start.

But will Beckham succeed where the likes of Pele, George Best, Franz Beckenbauer and other real talents failed in the 70s/80s with the NASL.

David Beckham is a global sports icon who will transcend the sport of soccer in America Don Garber – Major League Soccer commissioner

Yeah, right so it’s the image you’re after hmmm isn’t that what Real Madrid bought him for and that went well didn’t it. How many trophies has he won at the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu so far? That’s right it’s slightly less than the two league championships and two European Cups Steve McManaman left there with by exactly two league championships and two European Cups.

And what of this image, well as I gather it most U.S. sports fans not with Latin origins view soccer as that soft game their little girl plays at school, that their mom takes them to. Or that soft game played by South American and European girlymen that interrupts the violence in the crowds.

So exactly how is a skirt & knicker wearing, hand bag carrying, red carpet whore, prime example of a meterosexual and what is all wrong with that word going to endear himself those that follow NFL, NHL, MLB, NBA NASCAR etc and make them watch him run, well OK wander round, a park for 90 minutes with only one break at half time?

I mean being a rapist, or being juiced up on steroids, or a complete head case, or being a thick as pig shit sport star is one thing but they didn’t even like one of the Teletubbies carrying a handbag.

The “Beckham Rule” could have been different, it could have been a different way to designate the player especially designed for David’s perceived talents and his obvious lack of other footballing abilities.

In other words – The Place Kicker.

Bring him on in dead ball situations to take the kick, obviously just free kicks & corners no need to bother about penalties. After all this is what we’re always being told about Beckham, what a great deliverer of the ball he was, so we see pics of his first goal for England v Colombia in the ’98 World Cup or the equaliser against Greece that got us to the 2002 tournament.

All great but these few glimpses of a talent overshadowed the rest of it, in other words all those other free kicks he insisted on taking that didn’t actually score. For a country that loves it’s sport stats I wonder if they’ll come up with a free kicks taken/scored ratio that won’t look too good. Also his best work did come when the ball was stationary, which was important as he never really had the ability to beat people not the best for someone who plied their trade on the wing. How many promising moves were slowed down or stopped as Beckham virtually placed the ball for the cross from deep when a real winger would have got to the byline and put a killer cross over.

This isn’t a case of revisionism, due to the ineptitude of the ex-England captain and his very large part in the Sven era fuck ups. I was quite happy when Glenn didn’t pick him to start in France ’98, at least Sicknote could get by people. I can’t say I wanted him to take that free kick against Greece. Oh but he was great that day I hear you say all over the place, yeah running round like a headless chicken leading us where, that’s right to being 2-1 down at home to Greece – this was before their Euro ’04 triumph which was a real blip – having already missed the 5 previous “going for glory” free kick attempts.

Yes I admit he played well in the 5-1 thrashing of Germany in that campaign but hell even Gerrard & Heskey played well that night. But Beckham shouldn’t have gone to that tournament, he wasn’t fit for it and he helped us to defeat against Brasil by thinking of his own well being rather than the team and jumping out of that challenge.

2004 and 2006 were the next two tournaments he shouldn’t have gone to either, well in a playing capacity he could have gone shopping with the WAGS in Germany last year about all he’s been good for for some time now.

Now I’ve got that of me chest I have to figure out which category this post fits in, is it really sport or football or is it news, after all it was one of the main items on the major broadcasts yesterday or should it go in media, TV & film as “Thick & Thin” or should that be “Fick & Fin” have certain aspirations that a move to L.A. will get the dumb tart especially excited about.

Oh and thank christ the bookies were right about L.A. Galaxy being favourite, as Spurs seemed the second favourite destination.