Plumbing new depths is the English


What did I say a couple of days ago, get Broad back, bin Anderson and England might have a chance. Of course I meant bring Broad back when he’s fit to stand.

So what do they do, bring Broad back when he’s barely out of his sick bed, or should that be off the bog. Now pretty much every Englishman heading into India gets the two bob bits, it’s a fact of life but when you get them eating sushi quite frankly you deserve the severe ring sting that gives you an arse like a chewed orange.

There was no way he was fit for the fight. Only had to look at him to figure it out, the weight loss and those dark ringed dead eyes, not rocket surgery.

Bin Anderson, no, not gonna happen is it. Funny though that I actually read in a paper this morning a media type actually saying he’s past it and it should be done, now if even one of these types can figure it out, after all the times his ineptness has bee excused, then there might be some slim hope the message is getting through. Won’t hold my breath though. First ball wicket, wide half-volley, how many wickets has he got from rank awful deliveries?

Then of course there’s Bell – best form of his life. Well nobody got a ton ahead of him so he wasn’t going to. And while Trott was trotting along keeping one end steady at a run a ball – and in the process matching Viv Richards and Kevin Pietersen for the quickest in innings to 1000 ODI runs – Bell should have been accelerating but was plodding at less than a run a ball. Complacency, after all it’s only Ireland.

And can anyone really explain why Collingwood is still there?

Now England batted like bums late on, should have got far more than 327 and followed it up by bowling like bums. Any chance of a yorker lads? No you’re just going to lob up nice length balls to be whacked about. Great. Thanks. And as during the 6-1 Aussie thrashing and the previous two games in this tournament their fielding has been some of the worst we’ve ever seen. How many dropped catches?

But that shouldn’t take away from what the Irish did, especially Kevin O’Brien. That was one of the great innings. Fifty ball ton, what about fifth fastest ODI hundred in history and fastest by about three overs in the World Cup. Brilliant batting, finally reaching 113 from 63 balls.

Just think what it could have been if there hadn’t been so many dot balls. When he reached 80 I looked at the scorecard and he’d faced only 40 balls from which he’d hit 11 fours and 5 sixes so 74 runs in boundaries, leaving 23 deliveries for those other 6 runs.

As of typing the South African’s have just polished off the Netherlands, yeah, not even one struggle as they racked up a score and skittled the Dutch for 231 runs less.

England still have a chance, after all this competition is so drawn out they may still get home before the postcards.

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