Will someone please stop the Tottenham

Manchester United 3-2 Spurs | EXTENDED HIGHLIGHTS

Rolleycoastspur.

Spurs latest trough on their rolleycoaster ride saw a dispiriting defeat to a Man United team that barely turned up, as they gifted three goals to a team they could have lead over in the chase for fourth.

So far in 2022, Spurs record over all competitions reads W L W L W L W L L W L W L W L, apart from those two back to back losses, it’s been up and down like a bog seat, whore’s drawers, rolleycoaster.

Meanwhile Dr. Tottenham had gone missing for a couple of games, against Leeds and Everton, but made an unsurprising return for the trip to Old Trafford. Ronaldo had scored three goals in his last 12 league games, so you knew what was coming. When the score was 2-2 and the commentator mentioned United’s poor record scoring from corners, you knew what was coming.

And it was almost as if the Spurs’ players knew what was coming so did nothing to stop it. You can’t change fate.

That was the most annoying aspect of the whole game, Spurs just didn’t turn up, didn’t look bothered, insipid, ponderous display, with no fight from front to back. It really looked like “Lads, it’s Tottenham”.

It was a little over 10 minutes in when they just stood off Ronaldo and let him have a bang. One nil. Dier was distracted by Fred who wasn’t being marked by Davies and he didn’t close down the Portuguese, just did that stand there and turn your back with your hands behind routine. While Hugo stood there and only went for a dive after it was too late.

Spurs got level through a penalty, with Kulusevski’s cross being handled in the box. United obviously moan about it and their shout, which wasn’t a penalty, not being given. Kane put it away but the equilibrium didn’t last. Three minutes later Ronaldo was allowed to wander through the defence and have another free shot. I know lads, stand there with your arm up.

After the break Spurs managed to level again and again it really wasn’t of their doing, with Slabhead Maguire putting into his own net from Reguilon’s cross. Romero was behind him, in an offside position. You can’t tell me he’s not interfering with play. Anyway, his shithousery in the face of Maguire was about the only real life shown by Spurs all evening.

Own goals being Spurs’ third highest scorer, after Kane and Son…

https://twitter.com/WhoScored/status/1503374136973815810

Again the situation didn’t last long and as I said before, as soon as the commentator mentioned United’s poor record scoring from corners, here comes the hat-trick. That United side, you only have to look out for two players at corners, Slabhead and Ronaldo. Looks like Doherty was on the latter, Dier on the former, but the Irishman didn’t have his man and in the end was playing the man with no idea what was going on.

Again it was far too simple and that’s what makes it oh so worse than some of the previous defeats. United really didn’t have to try. Hugo had hardly any saves to make but his opposite number had even less. Spurs had more of the ball, you look at the passing stats for the most part they’re in and around the 90s. But they did nothing. It was all ponderous, sideways and lacking in any intent.

United were there for the taking, that defence against Kulu, Kane and Son, c’mon, do something, get at ’em. Don’t just dithering about. Would have jumped over them and Wet Spam, with games in hand over both. but no they just didn’t bother, that’s why I’m not angry with you… I’m disappointed in you…

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