Where have I seen Nick Clegg

before?

As I’ve seen more and more pictures of his smug mug since he supposedly won the first two leader’s debates – not a great endorsement of a politician as George W. Bush pretty much won most of the Presidential TV debates he entered into – but then this photo showed up on the front of one of yesterday’s papers – right I’ve got it.

And there it is, is it Nick Clegg, leader of the Limp Dums, PM choice of national treasure Heather Mills (ex-McCartney) or is it really Red Dwarf’s service mechanoid Kryten?

Of course it can’t actually be said android as Kryten was, being just a service mechanoid, a subservient machine and all those smug mug pics of Clegg at his posh school – Westminster current fees £9,448 per term or £28,344 pre year – the last thing he looks is subservient. More the look of the rich kid lording it over some poor oik who he’s about to thrash to within an inch of his life.

And of course Kryten couldn’t lie and well we’ve already found out that Cleggy boy will say anything no matter how untruthful.

So if Clegg is one member of the Red Dwarf crew what does that mean for the rest of ’em?

Well the Cat, a vacuous, shallow, preening creature. That couldn’t be “Call me Dave” Cameron now could it?

So what’s left, ah yes the most unpopular member of the ship’s crew, even before the rest of them were all wiped out. An individual who is completely out of his depth, is always blaming others for his own ineptness, always finding faults in others, is nowhere near as intelligent or competent as he believes, someone who believe he was born to high office when it’s obvious to others it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Someone with absolutely no interpersonal skills what so ever. The kind of person who as all friendly smiles and compliments to another’s face and then is slagging them off when they think they are out of ear shot and the type of person who is likely to have that second conversation overheard. An embarrassment to all those around him.

Yes J. Gordon Brown is Arnold J. Rimmer – a smeghead.

There’s another thing they have in common but Gordy won’t be walking around with a big H on his forehead. After this election, Brown’s career is over, he has craved the top job, schemed and worked his way to it, it’s all he’s wanted in life and he’s been an absolute failure at it. Now he’s not one to admit his errors or faults but after Labour suffer a huge defeat in a weeks time he’ll have plenty of time to think about where it all went wrong.

Now the previous holders of the title of biggest losers to lead the Labour party had something to fall back on. Foot, may have been a bumbling fool but his love of books kept him alive nearly another 30 years after his failure. The Welsh Windbag had the tax payer’s tit to keep him around for the last 20 years. But what has Gordon got? Nothing.

Who would pay to listen to him on the lecture circuit? No one. As an inspirational speaker he would be only beneficial to the Samaritan’s hotline. Who would take financial titbits from the man who led us into – and through, always through his spin doctors tell us, never out just through – the biggest recession ever. He was right about one thing – no more boom and bust – ain’t gonna be much boom soon.

Then there’s the old standby or retiring to spend more time with the family. That’ll be the family that was created to provide him with photo ops to compete with Blair’s massive brood that his chav wife kept dropping out. Can’t see him spending much time with them now they’ve outlived their usefulness. So what happens when you hear about someone you know who retires and they haven’t got anything to live for after? Got a dead pool going?

Anyway back to Red Dwarf who could Lister be? Well I don’t think it’s Nick Griffin…

That was a party political broadcast by the “Don’t vote for ’em it only encourages ’em” party.