Lads, it’s Tottenham

Kane and Son shine as Man Utd capitulate | Man Utd 1-6 Tottenham | Premier League Highlights

for 30 seconds.

Never mind the final scoreline, something really strange happened as Spurs handed out Manchester United’s joint biggest Premier League defeat, from the predictable it went in the completely opposite direction.

Thirty seconds in and after a sloppy twenty nine seconds, Davinson Sanchez went and gave away a penalty. Now, this was a given. Everyone knew that United would be given a penalty. It’s Spurs at Old Trafford. There’s gonna be a penalty. Though it was a surprise Martial didn’t even have to dive for it.

Maybe Spurs just figured they’d get it out of the way early because what followed wasn’t “Lads, it’s Tottenham”. An early goal like that, away at United normally would see Spurs completely crumble. A second would follow shortly and the game would be over before the half was up.

The latter did actually occur but it was United who were well and truly beaten by the break. The first time they’ve had four put past them in a half at home since Spurs did it back in 1957.

Within two minutes Spurs were level. Maguire playing head tennis in his own area, while De Gea dithered, Lamela was all over the centre-back, Luke Shaw was just about to clear the ball when Maguire decided to pull him over leaving the ball there for Ndombele to bash it home. Not the last impact Lamela would have on the game. Nor Maguire.

No it was the big lump of a defender who helped Spurs get the go ahead goal. a needless foul on Kane, when the striker was facing away from goal and closer to the halfway line than the Utd box. So totally out of position and clueless when Harry spun up and took the free-kick quickly, straight through to Son, who knew exactly what Kane was gonna do, through on goal he chipped the ball past De Gea. This was totally unexpected. Spurs should have been the crumbling ones. They weren’t supposed to be ahead by the seventh minute.

Some people weren’t happy with Partice Evra’s punditry for the game but he got one thing right. Harry Maguire. Why are United always looking for a new partner for Maguire, when maybe they should be looking for a replacement. A vastly overrated player who gets away with it because he has a lot of mates and fanbois in the media. A very Gareth Southgate player.

Spurs then had a few chances to put this game away and it being Spurs you felt they’d regret missing these chances as they have done on so many previous occasions – see last week against Newcastle. But then Lamela did his bit for his team. All of a sudden the ref was approaching the six yard box and brandishing a red card. It’s Spurs at OT, it has to be a Spurs player being dismissed. But no. Lamela had pushed his elbow into Martial who in turn tapped the Argentinian on the chin. Lamela then went to ground, he was carded but the retaliator always gets the red card. Ole moaned afterwards and tried his little patronising attempt to shame Lamela…

But if that [Lamela] was one of my players I would absolutely hang him up to dry because you don’t go down like that. He should not react like that. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Conveniently forgetting the numerous times his players have feigned something on the pitch. I mean Fernandez does a good dying swan act. Of course the media never asked him about the fact his team should have been down to 7. Luke Shaw for a cowardly tackle on Moura. Bailey stamp on Kane. Pogba for challenges on Son and Hojbjerg. All should have seen red.

A minute after the red card and Spurs had extended the lead. They decide to play it around at the back. Harry was straight in on Matic, Sissoko plays the ball to Ndombele who let it run to Son who crosses for harry to knock in the third. Only a few minutes later and it was four. And for once it wasn’t Harry feeding Son. a nice ball from Sissoko out to the wide open Aurier, a surprise choice at right-back, who crossed the ball nutmegging Maguire to Son who delicately nutmegged De Gea.

Ole tried to shore it up at the break, bringing off two of his midfielders. Well, Fernandez had given up in that half. It didn’t work. Did it work? Well they only conceded two in the second half. So some success. The first came shortly after the restart. A glorious ball by Hojbjerg played in Aurier who only had one thought and he banged inside the far post.

The sixth and final goal came from another completely surprising route. A penalty. A Spurs penalty at Old Trafford. Against Man U. Ben Davies was on for Son at left-back with new boy Reguilón moved up to the wing. Davies charged into the box cut back and was wiped out by Pogba. Up steps Harry to bang in the perfectly placed penalty.

Ole can’t complain about the sending off. They were done before that. It’s just a shame that spurs didn’t get that seventh, six did flatter Utd, and set the record. An almost perfect display from Jose’s men. Hojbjerg showing exactly why they wanted him and that at £15m he was a snip as he ran the game. Cleaning up in front of the defence and actually doing something with the ball. i.e. passing forward. With his assist he now is just one behind Winks in league assists for Spurs. One over four games the other four years.

Son and Kane just link up so well. Ndombele showed why they needed to stick with him, especially with Lo Celso not available. Aurier showed, much like Davies, that having real competition for your spot can lift your game, as he probably had his best game for the club. Reguilón showed how he’ll excite. Sissoko even performed. Probably due to not being hindered by Winks but having a good player next to him. Lamela showed what Jose asked for from the team. How to be a cunt. Expert level shitehousery. To go with a never give up work mentality, that he’s always had – not a shirker. Sanchez had his moment early but him, Dier and Hugo were little required after. Moura is probably better coming on, when the opposition is tired. Dele played his part when he came on and they didn’t even have Bale or, even newer boy, Carlos Vinicius available.

Jose allowed himself a little smile at the end. He hasn’t done too well against his old teams since arriving at Spurs. Until this week. An eight day week with four games.

You could hear the sadness at Sky. Martin Tyler was beside himself, still trying to get Lamela sent off well after it happened. All Man U after the game, no mention that it was Spurs being all over them that didn’t allow them to be any good.

And they still weren’t the first game on MotD…

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