repeatedly be this dull and still think they’re Euro favourites?
England scraped out a 3-0 victory in Newcastle over the might of Bosnia-Herzegovina, needing a penalty, a miss hit cross and a Harry Kane tap in against the 74th ranked team in the world.
It was classic Southgate, from team selection to the performance, especially in that first half. Oh, god that first half. Have you seen a more uninspiring dull half of football? You wouldn’t think some of this starting XI were playing for their place in the final squad.
Slow walking pace and back passes. Keep cheering folks.
A right-back at left back who won’t kick the ball with his left foot, so is permanently place to play it with his right and so his facing inside and passing backwards. Never once overlapping the wide left player cutting inside. A centre back at right back, who repeatedly had a panic attack once he got anywhere near the halfway line and ending up passing the ball back.
That left sided wide player at least tried to do something, he was the only one that moved beyond walking pace. It didn’t lead to much though as other players were so desperate to actually touch the ball they were all in the wrong place. Watkins so underserved he was wandering like Kane has to do. Palmer was floating over the the right where he was clumped with Konsa and Bowen in a small area, stepping on each other’s toes and getting nowhere.
Meanwhile Pickford was playing again because Gareth just needs one more look at now 61 cap keeper.
Southgate watched this not working for 45 minutes and decided he watch it not working with the same 11 after the break. Yes they were a bit further up the pitch but honestly it didn’t look like bringing anything until one of the vistors decided to change shirts with Konsa before full time.
Stonewall pen. Which Palmer just squeezed past the keeper, before making way as Southgate finally made changes. As the ones you didn’t want to see came off, Eze and Palmer, made way for one you did want to see, Maddison, and one waster that is surely taking the piss if he makes the squad, Grealish. And another that was not needed. Kane. Why Kane? You know what he can do, what he does. It would be just like Southgate to bring him on in a game like this and for Kane to roll his ankle.
Luckily it didn’t happen but Grealish did exactly what anyone who is actually paying attention knew he would do. Slow it up, cut inside and try and beat a player, achieving somewhere between sod and bugger all in the process.
Southgate made more chances and finally the fullbacks were providing width. But it still ended up with Kane having to play the killer balls. But it took until the 85th minute for the second. Grealish actually doing something, a cross over to Alexander-Arnold whose attempted cross went in. Then a few minutes later after a bit of pinball in the box, Kane got his 63rd.
Just imagine how many goals Kane could have had for England if he hadn’t had to play under senile Roy Hodgson – I know, I’ll put Kane on corners – and dullard Southgate.
And there we have it. It was a good job that Bosnia were crap and didn’t have a striker, they never really tried much and even though they barely got out of their own half, England hardly bothered to get out of theirs for the first 45, which pretty much sums up Southgate’s England. And people think this’ll win the Euros as the players and coaches shout “be patient”.