He’s not the messiah

he’s a, he’s a…well I was lost for words last night and I am a bit today.

Switched on Sky Sports News just before half four yesterday when the bloke, who always seems to be sitting next to Georgie Thomson, said they had a big news breaking from Newcastle and he handed over to this voice in the ether who told us the Toon had confirmed their new boss will be Keggy Keegel.

OK he didn’t call him that.

I’d been taking the piss out of those Toonites I know saying the dream team of Keggy and the MotD dullard would be on their way any day and here was the start and I don’t think a smile has left my face since. This is funny.

It was funny seeing the reaction in Toonville as the bloke who broke the story was standing outside the ground with no one in sight saying they weren’t expecting that many along for the nights FA Cup replay against Stoke – can anyone blame them after the first game which was the worst thing I’d seen in some time until the first half of Citeh v the Pikies last night – for them to go back, after a continuous loop of Kev going through a door had been played, to scenes that wouldn’t look out of place for a team that had just won the quadruple.

Lines round the block for tickets, cars driving past honking and the songs praising the return of the prodigal by those that had already got his name printed on the back of their barcoder uniform. No doubt others had got it tattooed on the only thing they wear to the games. Others had to do with less expensive ways to show what it meant so there was the little girl holding a packet of Kellog’s “Special K”.

Then news through that the first new born at the local hospital had been given a certain name. Poor bairn. It seems so apt that he’s spent the last couple of years running his Soccer Circus.

Mighty Mouse is here to save the day!!!

Well it gave some what they crave, it boosted tickets sales, shirts will no doubt follow and the owner will probably recoup Kev’s wages for this season by the weekend. It gave the team a boost on the park as they won 4-1 to face the wandering scum in the next round. Then we’ll see what wins out, a bit of tactical nous or motivational skills.

One wonders if Owen scored to put himself in the shop window as he didn’t exactly get on with the ex-England manager during that period. Can’t blame him either, it was obvious to all that Shearer was a spent force, while Owen had to play and be the main striker but no time after time, especially during Euro 2000, Owen was subbed and Shearer lumbered about unable to run past anyone, as we flatly limped out of that tournament.

A few weeks later and Keggy was gone, that final game at the old Wembley against Germany in the driving rain and this is where Kev put himself above the likes of Graham Taylor and McClown when telling us why he’d quit as the national manger because he wasn’t up to it.

It was stating the bleeding obvious, everyone knew it, just like we did with those other two but at least Keegan admitted this not like those two who blamed everything else for their ineptitude.

And it was again another one of those Keegal moments that you remember vividly. It’s like when he signed for Southampton, the England captain, twice European Footballer of the Year, just been in the European Cup Final was stumping up at Southampton. 😯

It’s like the ’82 World Cup the only chance he got to play in the biggest tournament, a whole twenty minutes as a sub, coming on in those far too tight shorts and then missing that sitter against Spain that would have sent us through, you can still see him there slumped on his knees on the pitch.

It’s like his last game playing for Newcastle, leaving the pitch in a helicopter. You remember him stood outside St James’ telling the fans why he’d sold Andy Cole to ManUre, you remember him slumped down again this time in the dugout as Stan Collymore scored as Liverpool beat the Toon 4-3 and you especially remember “I will love it…”

At the ’98 World Cup you can remember him telling us that England were the only team that can win the game now, seconds before Dan Petrescu scored Romania’s winner, then he said David Batty would convert his penalty against Argentina, which he didn’t. More insightful comments from King Kev.

So they got what they wanted, well some did, a number didn’t, does it matter if it’s heart over head when your head is in the clouds. They might give him a longer honeymoon period than those that took the job between his spells in charge, he might get them playing the brand of football the supporters want to watch, he might take them back to the good old days of the mid 90s when they were the other team everyone wanted to watch but when they won bugger all.

Just wish I’d backed him at 80-1 last week.

The only question is when will it all end in tears as King Kev walks away from the game again..?

OK one more question – where’s Tino Asprilla’s phone number?