You have to ask what’s the point of Brazil

if they are going to be as dull and functional as everyone else?

Oh the World Cup starts now, we were told, all because the five time winners were finally making their first appearance of the tournament. Things will pick up now after a less than riveting start of bore draws and one nillers.

Yeah but this is the Brazil of Dunga the very epitome of the dullest Brazilian side to win the thing.

I mean what do you remember from that tournament in the States in ’94? Not much of it has a samba beat does it. Only thing Brazilian that comes to mind is Leonardo’s elbow contacting Tab Ramos’ face and Bebeto’s swinging baby goal celebration – would have probably seen the kids being taken off him by social services here.

Nah the things you remember from US ’94 from the penalty miss to start it all by Diana Ross to the one that finished it by the Divine Ponytail is Ray Houghton’s swinger to beat Italy, Big Jack and John Aldridge going mental when the latter couldn’t get on the park and the quarter final stuffing of Germany by the Bulgarians – Stoichkov, Letchkov, Kiriakov, Balakov et al.

And this lot aren’t much better, there is flair in Brazilian football but you have a feeling Dunga left it at home. I mean sitting on the bench last night was not only Gilberto, once of The Lane but also Kleberson, now there’s a pair of impact substitutes.

The thing is North Korea, oh I shouldn’t call them that now should I? The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea showed how you get the best of the South Americans, even though they didn’t win, becoming the first team to score and lose.

The way to do it is to be completely ignorant of who they are, their history and what that gold shirt means. Because that’s the only thing that’ll really beat other sides, being afraid of the names that have filled those shirts in the past. But being isolated from all that like the DPRK means you can just play your game as they did last night. After all there isn’t that much to be really scared of now is there. There’s no Didi, Garrincha, Pele, Carlos Alberto, Jairzinho, Gérson, Tostão, Rivelino, Zico, Socrates in the current lot.

Who is there? Robinho? Melo? Bastos? Elano? Gilberto Silva? Fabiano? Kaká? The latter quite frankly wouldn’t be talked of in the way he is if he came from some other country, Denmark, Wales, USA for example.

Saying all that, they’ll probably go on and win it unless some team just blanks out everything else but the XI fairly ordinary players on the other side and play them like the Koreans did. Frustrate them through the middle and when you get the ball, bomb forward at pace. That last part was especially refreshing from the DPRK, in this dullard of a tournament so far, the fact they looked to get forward and attack as soon as they had possession, unlike so many of the teams that fanny about before humping an aimless pass, was very refreshing and I’m sure they probably got the biggest cheer so far when they scored – what was that post yesterday about patronising?

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