John Terry for Rio Ferdinand it’s a like for like


One scumbag who has played a full part in past failures regains the captain’s armband from another scumbag who has played a full part in past failures.

All handled in the usual cack-handed way with which Don Fabio stumbles through life as the England boss.

Went over this when it all kicked off a little over a year ago. Yes Terry is a piece of crap as a human being but then allegedly shagging your team-mates ex-girlfriend doesn’t quite rank as high in the scumbag stakes as a drink driving conviction.

And as for Ferdinand being a better player, then yes he can play a bit whereas Terry is – as the late great Charlie Williams put it when describing his own playing career – “I was never a fancy player, but I could stop them buggers that were”.

And that’s why I’m hoping Ferdinand takes this to heart and quits the international scene, or his repeated injuries prevent him carnying on. Yes Terry might be a useless lump, well past his sell by date but he puts his useless lump in front of balls aimed at his goal. We saw that in the World Cup when he did that “salmon leap” to block a shot against Slovenia.

On the other hand we have fancy feet Ferdinand, who uses those feet to jump out of the way, while turning his back, of any shot that may hit him. He ponces it every time. As for actually playing football all that now consists of aimless hoofs up the park, in the past to Heskey no doubt he’s eyeing up Carroll for the future.

Neither of them should be captain because neither of them should be in the team.

Out of the players Fabio has picked for the Taff game. Can’t pick Dawson, Spurs need him fit and we have to get our priorities right here, so I’d go with Cahill and Jagielka, only two centre-backs on show.

Fullbacks would be Walker and Baines. I mean I would like to see Bale rip Johnson apart but it’s weighed up against the Taffs getting all gobby if they win. Let’s see Baines takes great free kicks, has a good delivery from corners and can put good crosses in and Ashley Cole gets the ball on his right foot, can’t or more won’t kick it with said foot so stops forward motion by passing back and playing others into trouble. One is apparently the best left back in the world.

Midfield, well out wide it’s Lennon and Jarvis. With who Fabio will pick – and I’ll have to go with – wingers are needed so both are no brainers. I’m glad Jarvis is in there, he’s played really well in a team at the wrong end of the table, not coasting along on others coattails, or his name or his club’s name. Can deliver good crosses with both feet and doesn’t panic when having to use either left or right. No doubt Fabio will go with Milner who has done what exactly for Citeh this season?

Central is much harder. Slim pickings. Barry? Again what has he done for Citeh? Not a lot. Lampard, not exactly setting the world alight so if he’s playing worse now than before when he failed in an England shirt what is the point? So that leaves you with Parker by default but who to partner him because you can’t pick mong boy mouth breather Wilshere. I thought the FA had introduced regulations that those done by the plod wouldn’t be picked for the next game. Though of course all the fan boy media types haven’t been spreading the news about it have they. Better watch out Henry Winter as Steven Gerrard will be getting jealous.

Up front it can only be Carroll and Rooney. We don’t know any better than to lump it up to the big fella, Carroll fits the bill – so does Crouch but again likely to be crocked during game. Alongside has to be Rooney, again no shakes in the league but a far better option than Bent hiding and falling over.

Oh joy of joys England qualifiers are here again…

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