the real thing?
Continuity England yet again struggled in their World Cup Qualifier against the might of Andorra, with their worst ever result against the minnows, just 1-0, in an awful game, with inept performances all-round, from players and management.
The thing is it’s not just the dull Southgate years that are being replayed here. It’s the rubbish that went before that. 2007 under McClown and 2008 under Don Fabio . Two previous occasions when England were booed off after a goalless first half against the might of Andorra, what currently ranked 175th in the world.
Hell this could even be worse that, I mean those teams had never reached any sort of semi-final, never mind a final of a tournament and both managed to get more than one goal. Though not much more.
But all the Southgate faults were there from the off. Players out of position. How often do England play a right-back at left-back? All the bloody time. How often does it work? Never.
You’re playing against Andorra, you don’t need a player whose first instinct is to pass back because he’s on his wrong foot, because he’s on the wrong side. While on the other side he had a midfielder at right-back. Neither worked.
But then little else did. Again a collection of players, not a team. Certain players, for the most part, looking for personal glory rather than looking play a team-mate in. Nothing was created, people had shots, the Andorran keeper made easy saves. We were told Madueke was magnificent. Well, he was better than most but it’s all relative and when matched up to his exceptionally awful display in the Conference League final, yes, it was a lot better than that.
His clubmate, Palmer, didn’t really get into the game. Nominally the 10, he was shifted about to appease Bellingham’s desire to be the centre of attention. It all got far too crowded in the middle, so Palmer drifted wide but that wasn’t working either. Didn’t look happy when he was replaced just after the hour, didn’t look happy sat on the bench.
Coming off at the same time was another of Tuchel’s errors. Henderson running off to be subbed, like the worst sort of classroom crawler. God he’s pathetic and bringing him back in, well, hell even Southgate didn’t drop that far.
The goal came from the first time anyone played the ball through into the box to feet, for someone. Kane had to stretch to poke it past the keeper, but he got a block on it, Kane had to stretch to knock in Madueke’s resulting cross.
The thing is Andorra didn’t completely flat back 10 it. They came out far more than before, pressed more. Even had a pretty good chance which was blocked by Konza on the edge of England’s box box. But they still don’t know how to play against these teams. You never see the winger or fullback getting to the byline. You never see triangles. It’s all static, pass and run inside.
While others were battling out for the Nations League, England were doing what England do so well. Struggling. But they were patient and shouldn’t have expected much apparently. Well, who’s expecting much if they qualify…