England’s dead cat bounce lasted a few minutes

England v Germany (3-3) | Three Lions Finally Bite Back | Match Highlights | UEFA Nations League

and Germany should be embarrassed.

England finally managed to score from open play in their final, dead rubber, Nations League group game, as they came from behind to grab a draw from the jaws of victory against an equally clueless Germany.

Don’t know how many times I’ve said this is the worst Germany team we’ve seen. It seems like every time they play England recently. I said during the game that Germany looked like Italy, on Friday. They played some ice stuff, had the control of the park but once they got to the England penalty area, were clueless.

The number of times to freeze frame and there’s seven or eight black and white shirted players along the edge of the England box, yet the ball is always going backwards. No one is making a move into the box, no one is even having potshots. Yet when they did, three goals came from it.

While commentators were creaming themselves over England actually passing the ball forward. Much like Germany though, England’s good work fell on stony ground. Usually due to the fact it was the man playing the good balls through, that you needed to be on the end of them. Yes, if only Harry Kane could be on the end of the balls Harry Kane plays. But no, most of the time it was Sterling, who proceeded to have the ball taken off him easily, or just shoot straight at the keeper.

Both teams kicked into life after a player change. German at the break brought on a “striker”. Of course this introduction didn’t lead directly to Maguire just passing the ball straight to a German player then taking the player out when he got into the box. Utterly useless.

The dimwit Tiny Tears Le Saux, talking him up before hand and then he did that. Laughable but at least it stopped him creaming himself over Bellingham for a second. And you know even if Man united don’t play him another minute, he’ll start for Southgate come the opening game of the World Cup.

Ref only needed one look at the VAR replay to give it. Now he was looking right at the incident as it happened, with a clear view from a few yards away. it was the perfect view, so why couldn’t he have given it originally? Pope was dancing around for the pen, then went the wrong way before diving to the only direction Gündogan was going to kick it. He didn’t cover himself in glory, all night. But didn’t have a hope with Germany’s second.

The ball given away again, Walker, though backing off, has Werner covered before he decided to just leave him all alone as he tracks another runner, who already has a man marking him. Over to Havertz all on his lonesome, where was the midfield? And one curler past Maguire later and it’s two.

Southgate had made changes just before that goal and led to a change for England, there was actually some forward movement, some forward passing and some interaction. Just knew Bellingham would get the man-of-the-match award but it really should have gone to Sterling. Yes you read that right but not for the right reasons. Sterling going off changed it for England. It was a surprise that Southgate removed two of his favourites, the two front men that weren’t working, yet again.

Saka ran forward and James actually passed it forward, to him, he then got it back from Saka and put an actual cross in, a forward cross – of the 263 passes James has played in this Nations League campaign of five games, less than 25% have been forward – missing everyone it bounced of Shaw who put it through the keepers legs.

England looked lifted while Germany deflated and the equaliser came shortly after. Saka again running forward, from where Mount actually did something, taking the shot from the edge of the area and scoring. That’s the pair of them doing more in ten minutes than Sterling and Foden did over these two games.

It wasn’t much later when England took the lead, Bellingham and a German defender stretching for the ball, Bellingham got there earlier and it was a penalty. Kane smashed in the top corner, keeper absolutely no chance.

Was that deceased cat gonna bounce to a victory? Get all those fanbois telling us how great Southgate is for fluking us to a semi and a final. No. It wasn’t even five minutes before more defensive ineptitude. First from James, then Bellignham, to allow Gnabry a long shot that Pope should have dealt with but he fumbled it out for Havertz to tap in his second, as Shaw did nothing to stop him.

As said Pope really didn’t cover himself in glory, when you’re pretty useless with the ball at your feet – all those years under Dyche not paying off – you’ve got to make saves like that, because the likes of Walker and Maguire will be making your life hard with back passes.

Germany, poor but still good enough not to lose, as both teams finish below group winners Italy and runners up Hungary. England three losses, three draws, four goals, conceded ten.

And people who saw the light after the Italy game are no back on Southgate fanboi duty.

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